


Veronika, der Lenz ist da

by counterheist



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Extortion, F/M, Genderbending, M/M, and a bit of voyeurism to top everything off, bordello, lame attempt at a sort-of-20s setting in ambiguous!land
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-14
Updated: 2010-06-14
Packaged: 2017-11-28 16:49:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/676661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/counterheist/pseuds/counterheist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Feliciano Vargas is going to get the girl of his dreams to marry him, no matter what! Luckily for Antonio Fernandez, bouncer of the East Manor, Feliciano’s older brother feels the need to supervise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Veronika, der Lenz ist da

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a song sung by the Comedian Harmonists. It doesn’t have all too much to do with anything, but it’s a nice song. Incidentally, I blame that movie for this and the companion fic. Also: The gratuitous German extends no further than the little quote at the top. Indulge me.

Veronika, der Lenz ist da,  
die Mädchen singen Tralala,  
die ganze Welt ist wie verhext,  
Veronika, der Spargel wächst,  
ach Du Veronika, die Welt ist grün,  
drum laß uns in die Wälder ziehn…  
\-- “Veronika, der Lenz ist da” *

Sleep, the deep restful sort, was a luxury. And one that Antonio didn’t mind not having. Life was about living! He could sleep when he was dead. Or when he passed out. Either way, every afternoon the sun’s rays danced the bouncer’s eyelids open, and every dawn he closed them to the sounds of Johns plunking their way down the main staircase. More often than not the roaring of a car engine shortly followed; it was understandable. The East Manor was a high class place. Classy enough to cater to businessmen that rolled up in their own Royces, and yet still edgy enough to satisfy them.

The East Manor had been in the family for years, apparently, although it was only under the current management that it had become the home of several of the city’s finest working ladies.

Gil had seen to that. Or, rather, Madam Ermengilda Marie Beilschmidt the Fourth. The Madam of the business to some, but Gil to most. Antonio had been so grateful when she’d hired him. A place to live, three square meals a day and a houseful of very nice ladies to talk to? And all Antonio had to do to earn it was occasionally throw the rowdier customers off the premises.

He was good at that.

Antonio rocketed out of bed as though he’d gotten nine hours of sleep instead of six as soon as the day teased its way through his curtains. It was Tuesday, and Tuesday was his day to trim the hedges in the back garden. If he wanted to be done before the house had to be readied for customers, he had to get dressed, and quick.

One of the doors down the hallway creaked as it opened.

Maybe he didn’t need to be dressed. Antonio stopped, one foot half in one of his pant legs. Only one room in the house had a creaky door, because he hadn’t gotten around to fixing it yet and Luise hadn’t either. Lotte lived behind that door. Lotte lived behind that door and she took hour-long showers when Luise wasn’t around to stop her. And it was Tuesday so Luise would be in the basement, doing inventory on the food and the liquor.

Antonio dropped his pants to the ground, and sprinted out of his room and towards the bathroom wearing nothing but a shirt still draped over his shoulder. As he turned a corner in the hallway, he saw Lotte, hair ruffled and wearing a nice silk robe that a customer had given her. She was right in front of the bathroom door.

He pushed her sleepy hand away from the doorknob and threw himself past her into the room without any hesitation.Even though he locked the door behind himself, Antonio still used his body to barricade it for a full minute, because once Lotte had tried to break the door down when he’d beat her to the shower. She’d used a potted plant; Luise had been beyond furious at her for getting dirt all over the carpet.

Lotte could be mean when she had just woken up. “Wha… **Antonio!** ” And there it was. He could hear the sound of her fists pounding on the door. “Get out of there, haven’t you ever heard of ladies first?” Antonio had heard that plenty of times, back when he’d lived at home and none of his sisters had been married. They, too, took an ungodly amount of time in the washroom.

A new voice made itself heard right as Antonio decided it was safe to step away from the door and begin to wash. “What’s the trouble?” It was the newest girl, Lili.

Footsteps, and then a third female voice. “Move over, I’ve gotta piss.”

Lotte sighed. Antonio knew it had to be Lotte, because otherwise he’d never have been able to hear it over the rush of the shower water. But Lotte was a dramatic one, so her sighs tended towards shouts. “ _Must_ you always be so crude, Elizaveta?”

Elizaveta giggled as she replied. “ _Must_ you always be so high strung?” The girls must have had a longer night than usual if they were all just converging on the bathroom _now_. Antonio rinsed the soap out of his hair and shivered. He wished that Luise would spend a little money to fix the hot water pipes. Antonio knew how to do the labor; it was only a matter of funding the materials.

“Yes, in fact, I do. It’s in my instruction manual. You’ll have to take all complaints up with the factory.” Hadn’t Lili been out there too? All Antonio could hear was Lotte and Elizaveta’s bickering. Although he had to thank Elizaveta later; she was doing a wonderful job of distracting Lotte from his bathroom-stealing.

“They’ve even got assembly lines for cheap whores now?” Elizaveta spoke with less of an accent when she wasn’t around customers. Antonio didn’t really get the appeal, but apparently her voice was a big hit with many of the higher paying Johns. “You can find anything in this country!”

Lotte’s reply was as thick and smooth as molasses. “Not as cheap as you, darling.”

“Antonio,” so Lili _was_ still there. She always waited so patiently, even after making friends with the other girls like Lotte who were decidedly not patient at all. Antonio wondered how long that would last. Girls changed when they came to work at Gil’s; whether they liked it or not. “Will you be done anytime soon?”

He turned off the faucet. There was a long day ahead of him, no point in prolonging it. “I’ll be out in a second, Miss Lili!” He stepped out of the shower and looked to his side. No towel on the rack. Then he looked to the floor. His thin, white shirt. Well. “I might have to borrow somebody’s towel, though.”

“Take mine.” Lili really was too sweet. “I’ll borrow one of Lotte’s.”

Antonio opened the door, towel firmly around his waist, and smiled a “Thank you!” at Lili as she entered the bathroom behind him, clad in her own nightgown. It was only when Antonio was nestled safely away in his room, getting dressed for the second time, that he heard Lotte and Elizaveta realize they had been passed by for bathroom rights again.

“Hey!” “Hey!”

Suspenders snapped into place as Antonio chuckled and made sure to use the back staircase to get down to the kitchen for breakfast. Lunch. Usually he liked wishing a good afternoon to the girls… but not when they were arguing. He was wise enough to stay well away then.

\- - - - -

“Here’s the place! I saw her go in here, I swear!”

“Y’stupid fuck.” Lovino Vargas lazily pulled a little packet of matches out of his pocket and carefully lit his last cigarette. When he’d agreed to come along and see his little brother’s unfortunate new crush, he hadn’t expected they’d be walking into _this_ neighborhood. “You went and fell for a whore? Again?”

Feliciano Vargas stamped his foot against the ground. “Luise isn’t like that. She’s _special_.” She wasn’t like any other girl he’d ever met. Why couldn’t Lovino see that?

“Special like Maria?” Lovino blew a puff of smoke into his brother’s eyes. “Like Anna? Emma, Hester, Veronica—”

“I know what you’re trying to do, brother. But it isn’t going to work.” It was the same thing Lovino always tried to do; he always pried out the tiny little flaws in every girl Feliciano showed any interest in, always laughed whenever Feliciano declared he was in love. Maybe… maybe he hadn’t really been in love those other times. Maybe Lovino had been right back then. But now? Feliciano never felt as warm as when Luise walked into the shop. “Luise is the _one_ , ve, this time it isn’t just some one day thing. This feels like forever.”

Lovino might have believed his little brother if those stars in his eyes weren’t so familiar. “Fine. Let’s go in, let’s find out your Helen (“ _It’s_ _Luise!_ ”) is a whore, let’s find out she’s an _expensive_ whore, judging by the look of this place, and let’s _leave_.” The clerks couldn’t be trusted to run the shop on their own, not even for an hour.

Feliciano extended one of his arms and tried the gate; it swung open easily. “Your problem is you wouldn’t know love if it stared you straight in the eyes, Lovi.” Feliciano’s eyes softened when his brother’s jaw line hardened. “One day you’ll find it, just like me. You don’t have to be scared—”

The elder Vargas brother adjusted the brim of his hat. He tossed his still-burning cigarette onto the pavement and mercilessly ground it into a small smear of ashes underneath his shoe. “Shut up and let’s get this over with.”

The walk up to the house wasn’t long enough, and soon the brothers were standing on the doorstep, surrounded by pillars and rosebushes. Feliciano knocked.

They waited.

Feliciano knocked again.

Twenty minutes later, Lovino was prepared to leave ( _Normally he would kick at the door to make a louder sound, but hell if he was paying to repaint the door of some rich whores_ ). He flexed his fingers and got ready to drag his idiotic little brother back to their shop by the back of his collar if necessary. But he was interrupted.

By the door opening.

A slight, pale girl in a pretty dress stared up at him questioningly. Lovino jerked his thumb at his brother, who had gone strangely quiet. This wasn’t Lovino’s visit, so it wasn’t Lovino’s job to do the talking. Feliciano could make a fool of him _self_. “Good afternoon!”

The girl didn’t open the door any farther. “Good day. Is there something you needed? Madam Beilschmidt isn’t expecting any guests at this time.” She fidgeted with her dress and Lovino started to feel a little guilty for gawking at her. She couldn’t have been more than sixteen, could she? And working at a place like this? Something like that never would have happened at home. This country was shit.

Lili frowned and spoke again when the men didn’t make any move to leave. “And our gardener could probably snap your neck if you tried anything, sir.” She shook her head at the smiling man who had spoken. “Not that you look like you would.” And not that Antonio would ever want to. But he _could,_ which meant she hadn’t told a lie.

Feliciano gulped. “R-really? That’s good that you’ve got such good protection here, ve, but actually I’m just here to discuss something with Luise!”

Luise didn’t get many guests. Or rather, Luise didn’t get any guests that weren’t deliverymen or ladies come to take away the laundry. This was suspicious. “Luise didn’t say anything about that this morning.”

This was going nowhere and Feliciano looked like he was about to break down and cry out all his troubles to the odd little prostitute. And Lovino was not about to have any of that. “Look, you ever hear of Vargas and Vargas?” If she hadn’t he would be insulted, and not only because he and Feliciano had spent ten long years making a name for themselves in this city ( _that wasn’t a slur_ ). Because there was also the matter of her dress. It had taken a moment, because she had only opened the heavy door a tiny little bit. But Lovino recognized the details of the craftsmanship all the same; he’d spent three nights and a bottle of wine working through the details on that dress, how could he not remember it? Fuck, if this little thing was wearing _that_ dress… Feliciano’s Luise must be a life’s savings type girl. At least they could leave quickly once Feliciano found that out.

“Vargas and Vargas? Yes, of course. Luise orders all our clothes from them.”

“Really!” Feliciano smiled from ear-to-ear and raised his arms to give the girl a hug, even though she was still hiding behind the door. “She told me the last time I saw her not to think I was special because she only bought the bare minimum from me because our clothes were ‘adequate’ but I knew, ve, I _knew_ that she really meant they were pretty!” He sighed and Lovino wanted to strangle him.

Lili had understood none of that. “Come again?”

“What he means is that you’ve heard of Vargas and Vargas. And I,” Lovino pointed at himself, “am Vargas. And he,” he smacked Feliciano on the side of the head, “is the other Vargas. The second one.”

Lili’s eyes widened. “Oh! If you had an _appointment_ with Luise you should have said so earlier. I can go get her for you, I’m sorry for the wait.” She finally opened the door fully and motioned the two tailors to follow her inside.

Feliciano’s eyes were the next to widen. While Lovino pretended that the opulence of the mansion was just another everyday thing, and kept his eyes focused straight ahead, Feliciano allowed himself to turn his head every which way and stare and appreciate. Luise had a really good decorator ( _he didn’t for a moment believe she had done the decorating, because she was really really bad at picking out fashions for the different clothes she ordered_ )!

The girl left the brothers alone in the front room. A few awkward minutes later, during which Feliciano spent fussing with his clothes and Lovino spent glaring at the paintings on the walls, a woman stepped out from a little door that lead underneath the stairs. Feliciano jumped in surprise. Lovino switched his glare to her. She, in turn, was too busy with the sheaf of papers clutched in her hands to notice his idiot brother careening towards her full speed ahead.

Feliciano didn’t actually leap at her. What happened was more of a run and a slide, which ended up with his arms around the woman’s waist and his cheek rubbing against her hips. Lovino hated to think it, but this fling must be serious if Feliciano was at this stage of pathetic already.

“Beautiful Luise, light of my life, I need you! Marry me, ve, you have to! I can’t live without you!” Most of his declaration was muffled into her dress, but she must have understood the rest, because halfway through the woman started swatting Feliciano away.

So this was ‘Luise.’

If Lovino cared to look it up, he was sure he’d find a picture of this girl next to the entry for ‘functional’ in his dictionary back at home. Her hair was short, but not stylishly so. It looked like she had cut it herself, in all of ten minutes, with hedge clippers. And her dress… that _couldn’t_ have been made by him. Not by Feliciano either. Because the thing was hideous. Drape makers had to put the fabric that didn’t sell somewhere, Lovino supposed. Who would have thought it would’ve all gone towards making the world’s ugliest dress for the woman that stood before him?

“Y-you!” She hit Feliciano on the head with her stack of papers, but he held his ground. “What are _you_ doing here?”

Feliciano kept his arms around her waist and looked up at Luise with the biggest watery brown eyes he could muster. “I’m here to declare my love for you!”

Luise didn’t know what to say. What could be said in a situation like this? “First you follow me around the market, and then you follow me home… this—this is unacceptable. Leave me alone, Feliciano.” She hadn’t complained before, because the attention, however surprising, had been… it had been nice. Luise rarely got attention from men ( _real men, she meant, not the types that came to the manor once the sun went down. And really, not even from them either_ ). And Feliciano was a very real, very nice man, if only a little silly. So Luise had taken the compliments and attention in the market as gracefully as she was able to, with her head held high. She’d known he’d meant nothing by it; everyone knew his type threw out beautiful words as though they were nothing.

She hadn’t taken his words to heart.

Feliciano realized this, just as Luise was finally able to shake him from her waist. “But you have to believe me! I don’t say this to just anyone,” why was Lovi looking at him like that? “And, ve, if I do, you know I only mean it with you!”

“Stop saying things like that.” Luise tried to remember her pride and began walking toward the main stairs. Feliciano repeating such ridiculous things… it felt like he was mocking her, and it hurt. She knew she was an old maid; it wasn’t like he needed to tell her that to her face. “They aren’t funny.”

So that was it. The girl resisted Feliciano because she ( _rightfully_ ) didn’t believe his praises, and Feliciano chased all the harder with every rebuke. Feli _always_ did this. Maybe not to such a degree, and usually with prettier girls, but still. He was like a dog; the running girl was the most interesting thing in the world to him. Once she stopped, there was the sniffing and the licking and then everything was done. And Feliciano was already running after the next one.

Feliciano gaped in horror from the floor. “How can you say that? Luise Luise, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met!” He stood and tried to hug her. She resisted. “You’re so smart, ve, I know that you always know your bill before any of the shop clerks have written any numbers down. And you look like you could lift ten of me!”

Did he really think those things were compliments or was he just making fun of her stocky build like everyone else? Probably the latter. “That is _enough_.”

“Ve! But I’m not finished!” Feliciano grasped Luise’s hands between his and tried to gaze into her eyes. It was hard when she refused to look up from the ground. “You always look so determined when you buy your groceries, ve, even when the people give you funny looks because of where you work! And you look so happy when you stop by the shop even though you never buy anything for yourself!”

She blushed, and pulled her hands back. Feliciano was a person who lived by touch. She knew that. She saw the way he greeted everyone he’d ever met with a hug and a kiss. This was nothing special. “We do not have the money to spend on such frivolities.” They wouldn’t have the money for _anything_ if Ermengilda was allowed to do the books. Luckily, that job was left up to Luise, and the manor was able to keep up the façade of grandeur. But Luise knew that if they were to indulge in every little whim, and stray from her strict budget, the manor would go the way of many bordellos. And the girls would be out on the streets. She would never be able to live with herself if that happened.

“Ve, clothes aren’t frivolous!” Feliciano had _much_ to say on the subject of clothes, but he knew that Luise’s eyes would glaze over when he did so instead he continued to say nice ( _true_ ) things about her. “And your house is really pretty. I like all the flowers outside, ve, so you must be well off enough! Why don’t you ever wear the ribbon that I gave you?”

Wait a second… when had Feliciano been giving out presents to random girls from the market? Shit! They weren’t made of money!

“It doesn’t…” It was beautiful and red and silk and it didn’t match anything she owned. If she wore it the girls would tease her about a beau she really didn’t have. If she wore it _Ermengilda_ would tease her about a beau Luise really didn’t have. That’s why she never wore it. “Decorations need not be worn in daily life.”

“But that’s what they’re _for_!”

This was like a train wreck. Lovino decided to lend the poor wench ( _she couldn’t be one of the whores. Not with a dress like_ that) some sympathy. “Oi. Feli. We done here?”

“How can you leave before you’ve introduced yourselves?” A woman with pale hair and a smile that consisted entirely of sharp teeth grinned down at the three from the first floor landing. She leisurely walked down the stairs in a getup Lovino knew had taken Feliciano weeks to make. This must be the ‘lady’ of the house.

“Ermengilda, please,” leave us alone go away not now, “these gentlemen were just leaving.”

Feliciano didn’t let Luise brush him aside. “No we weren’t! Not until you give me an answer!”

Lovino couldn’t take it anymore. He took Feliciano’s hat off his head and swatted him with it. “Don’t take up the nice woman’s time, Feliciano. You’ve seen her, you’ve seen the place. Now let’s go.” The new woman’s smile was starting to unnerve him.

“Hold on a second.” Gil knew what men looked like when they were in lust. She knew that look well. She also knew what men looked like when they were in love, although she’d only seen that look rarely, and only once directed at her. The man who had been holding her sister had an expression on his face that was hopelessly the second. “The nice man says he’s not ready to go yet. What’s your poison, stranger? We can get Luise go and get you some.”

It was stupid, but the first thing that popped into Feliciano’s head was, “Luise.”

That earned him a slap. From Luise, of course.

And, strangely, a grin. From Luise’s sister. “Well then, _Luise_ , you heard him. Go get him some of you.” Gil could hardly hold back her laughter, because Lu’s face was _priceless_. She shouldn’t be so nervous, the man looked harmless. Harmless and smitten and where was the trouble in that?

“I will do no such thing.” Ermengilda might enjoy playing men for their money, but Luise Beilschmidt was cut from a different cloth. It was a serviceable cloth, that endured many washings and was warm in the winter and perhaps not the most cheerful of colors, but it was still a perfectly acceptable cloth.

Oh God.

She was comparing herself to fabric. Cheap fabric.

Luise flew off into the dark recesses of her mind, and Gil rolled her eyes as Luise’s suitor took the opportunity to grab her hands again. “Just do it Lu; if he tries anything funny, I’ll cut off his balls.” She grinned the biggest grin she could manage, the one that said ‘I’m the lady of this house and I know how to castrate you in more ways than you can count.’

Feliciano got the message. Lovino saw the message in transit, and accordingly took a small step backwards towards the door.

Upstairs, Antonio didn’t see the message, but he’d worked at the manor long enough to know when it was accompanying one of Gil’s loud threats. He had just finished his yard work, and had gone back to his room to get his towel. Lotte probably wasn’t still staking out the bathroom, plotting her revenge. Probably.

He chuckled when he heard Gil laughing and threatening the poor fool ( _who was too early anyway, it wasn’t time for business yet_ ). His shower could wait a few more minutes… Antonio closed his door behind him and meandered over to the landing. Lili had said something about gentlemen when he’d passed her coming into the house. So the gentlemen were Luise’s callers? She never got those… it was nice that men were finally paying attention to her. Still, he felt it was his ( _basically_ ) big brotherly right to make his own threats. As he neared the stairwell, he called out “You’ll have to beat me to it, Gil. Isn’t all the violence around here my job?”

That’s when Antonio stopped.

Standing at the foot of the stairs were the brownest boredest most beautiful eyes he had ever seen. If there hadn’t been a railing to clutch, Antonio would have fallen down two flights and straight on top of those eyes and the particularly nice body attached to them. There had been times before when Antonio had appreciated the customers ( _most had been too drunk to notice_ ). But never before had any of the customers stared back quite. Like. That.

“But Toni, I’ve got big sister dibs…” Gil trailed off when she noticed her bouncer all but paralyzed on the landing above her. What was wrong with him…? Oh. Wait. She turned to Intruder Number 2, who looked similarly afflicted ( _plus a sour expression and minus all the sweat_ ).

This was a situation that Madam Ermengilda Marie Beilschmidt the Fourth could _exploit_.

She called out to her sister without taking her eyes away from the two men having a moment. “Hey Lu, what do you say?”

Luise snapped out of her daze. “What?”

“Yes or no?”

Ermengilda was looking at her as though she was being particularly slow. It wasn’t an expression she got to often wear around Luise. “What are you asking ab—?”

“ _Yes or no_.”

What was this, a children’s game? “Yes?”

Gil whooped. Even if Luise had said no, Gil would have made her go anyway, but this way was funnier. “Wonderful! She’s all yours… what’s your name?” That’s right, she’d been thinking of him as ‘the stranger’ and ‘Intruder Number 1’ and ‘that little cutie.’ But he probably had a name too.

And that name was “Feliciano Vargas!”

It was familiar… “Of Vargas and Vargas?”

“Yeah, that’s Lovi,” he pointed over at Intruder Number 2, who had finally stopped staring at Antonio, “and me! We make your clothes, ve, in fact, I made your dress myself!”

When Luise had tried to compile a list of everyone’s measurements, and had told Gil to let her go downtown and gather each season’s new clothes as a bundle, Gil had been skeptical. Until she had seen the beautiful garments that Vargas and Vargas had been able to produce. “It’s exquisite. Your work is very good.”

Luise was lost. Again. “What did I just agree to?”

“To having Feliciano over here,” Gil waved her hand at the smiling man who was only a few minutes away from the worst shotgun talk of his life, just as soon as she pulled her closest rifle out of the hall closet, “take you out on a date, naturally. Big sis did a good job landing you this one, didn’t she?” She winked.

Luise was no longer lost. In fact, she understood completely what was going on, and was secretly thrilled, because she loved being around Feliciano even as much as she hated it. But there was that small matter of Feliciano not being serious about her… “I—but—wait…”

“I promise to keep my hands to myself unless you want my hands all over you and then I’ll do whatever you want!” Did she hear that correctly? Was he teasing her again? Then why did he look so determined?

“That’s the spirit!” Gil walked over to the hall closet and waved Antonio down from the second floor landing, where he had apparently turned to stone. He shook his head and hurried once he realized what she was searching for. Probably didn’t want to deal with blood so early in the day.

Feliciano wasn’t quite sure how he had landed a date with the most beautiful woman in the world, but he held her hand anyway and didn’t question. It might take forever, but one day she was going to love him back! Or else… he wouldn’t force her to love him, actually. That would be… that would be absolutely awful of him. If she didn’t love him back, he would still love her and still try to help her find love.

But why was he thinking about such depressing things before they had even started?! He was going out with Luise! He was staring down the barrel of a gun!

Oh. When had that happened?

“Now let’s lay down some guidelines, right?” Antonio sprinted down the last set of stairs, and grabbed Gil’s wrist before she could remove the safety from her gun. She could have all the threats she wanted, but he’d be damned if he had to clean up brains _or_ urine from the floor before the night had even started. “You’re boring, Toni. Get off,” she shoved him away with her shoulder, “I’m just telling Feli what’s going to happen during his date.”

Feliciano was trembling. “…dinner?”

Luise was also trembling, but for different reasons. “Ermengilda, stop this now!” Feliciano would _not_ be harmed by her sister’s stupid games. Oh God. She had compared herself to fabric before, and now she was being protective of a dressmaker, and what did that even mean as far as analogies went?

“Just give me another minute, Lu, seriously.” Gil tightened her hold on the gun, but kept her fingers away from the trigger. She didn’t want to hurt the cutie either; just scare him a little. Besides, Toni was still watching her like a hawk, and the squeaking and noises from the upper hallways meant that in a few seconds the scene in the foyer was about to gain a house full of viewers. “Dinner is a lovely idea! You’re going to take my little fragile baby sister out to dinner Mr. Vargas, at the nicest place in town, and then you’re going to take her dancing, and when you’re done you’re going to give her a big wet kiss on our doorstep and maybe if she likes it we can negotiate you going further!”

How could Ermengilda smile through all of that?!

“S-sounds good!”

After a suspiciously long silence ( _during which many glances were cast towards ‘Toni’ and the pants he was wearing, and the stitches in the inseam that Lovino had sown up by hand. His hands had been all over those trousers, a few months before. All over…_ ), Lovino made his opinions known. “What part of that fucking sounds good, you idiot? We’re not made of money.”

Lovi was right. Feliciano didn’t like it, but they had just expanded their shop and couldn’t afford much of anything for themselves at this point. “…Maybe we could just sit and talk? Luise? How does that sound?”

It sounded sweet, and Luise wanted to say ‘yes’ and find out more about Feliciano ( _wanted to find out if there_ was _more to find out_ ). But then Ermengilda had to go and make things ridiculous again. “No dice, Feliciano Vargas.” She smirked. “If you’re going to contract an evening at this establishment, then somebody’s gotta get paid. A date with Luise is expensive by default!” She grinned at her own cleverness. “Either that or one of the girls gets to get lucky; we all need a little fun now and then outside of work.”

A chorus of “me!”s followed her announcement. Oh good, the girls were all listening. Gil did love a show before dinner.

Feliciano had gotten so close… were his dreams really going to be stopped because he didn’t have enough cash to throw around? Luise didn’t care about that sort of thing, did she? It shouldn’t matter! “But I don’t want to sleep with anyone but Luise!”

“This is a business, gentlemen.” Gil lowered her gun, damage already done. “Everyone’s time around here is money.” If he couldn’t find a way out of this challenge that Gil approved of, Feliciano Vargas didn’t deserve Luise anyway.

Lovino made a very shrewd observation that almost cut Gil’s fun short. “I thought frumpy over there wasn’t one of the whores?” A shrewd, but callous observation, that didn’t gain him any affection from the crowd of women gathered around the banisters above him.

Gil frowned down her nose at Feliciano’s much less attractive brother. “My baby sister’s our go-to assistant _and_ seamstress _and_ accountant _and_ mechanic. _Her_ time is the most precious of all.” It was true. If Lu had refused to work at the East Manor once Gil had set it up, the place wouldn’t have lasted a month.

“Stop it…” Luise wanted to run back into the basement and hide behind the beer, in the cool and the dark. Being fought over was new. New and not appreciated.

Finally, Feliciano’s girl was seeing sense. Now if only everyone else would too. “I agree. Stop it and let’s leave before you do something stupid.” Before he did any more things that were stupid, that was. It was always too late for Feliciano to not do something stupid.

Lovino really shouldn’t have drawn the attention to himself. “You know, other Vargas, it doesn’t necessarily have to be Feliciano who foots the bill…” Gil set her gun down on an end table next to a vase full of flowers. “You look _energetic_ enough.”

Was she looking at… she was… she was looking down at… urgh! “Leave me out of this.”

An amused voice floated down from on high. “I call dibs on that one if he gives in. Even if he _doesn’t_ I still call him!”

Several other women responded. “Lotte, no fair!” “I was just about to!” “But the other one is so much cuter!”

Lovino wanted them all to choke on their frilly panties because holy God in heaven if he had a stroke out of embarrassment he was making sure they all were punished, each and every one.

Antonio sidled up to the brother who wasn’t clutching at Luise as though she was a treasure about to slip away from him. “You don’t have to be nervous, you know.” The brother looked at him in confusion and Antonio wished that things had ended up differently. “Even if this is your first time… all the girls here are very nice.” Although Antonio would prefer to be the one showing Vargas how to ‘pay off his debts to the manor,’ Lotte would be sure to be gentle with him. At least for a little. Hell, even little Lili was looking down on the scene like the brothers were a Christmas feast.

“Wh-why can’t _you_ do it?!” Lovino pointed his finger at his stupid little brother and tried to will away the heat from the back of his neck. “It’s your girl, you sell yourself; I have nothing to do with this.”

“But—” Why didn’t Lovino understand that doing that was _incredibly_ counterproductive to trying to get Luise to fall in love with him? Feliciano wanted to marry her, not cheat on her before they’d even properly held hands!

Whatever Lovino wanted to say was drowned out by suggestions from above. “Give us all free dresses!” “ _Both_ do it!” “Both do each other!” ( _Elizaveta had grace, but did not blush, not even when her shout managed to find a lull in the cheering to wedge its way out of_ ).

“Well?” Gil was loving this. “What’s it gonna be boys?” Mostly because either way she won. If they paid in clothes, then that was one less bill to pay. If they paid with themselves then those were ( _two_?) fewer girls to keep happy and entertain through the nights of large, boring, needy businessmen. And if they left? It was two men who weren’t worth it anyway, pushed from the premises. And Toni would probably like watching them as they went.

The foyer and the floors above it were a flurry of color and sound. And all Feliciano wanted was a little quiet time alone with Luise. “Ve, _please_ brother? I love Luise… maybe they have lonely boy prostitutes here too, for you!”

That _bastard_.

All of a sudden, the manor was the picture of tranquility. Except for the enraged tailor standing in the middle of it all.

This was working out even better than she had expected it to… Gil could see the end of the situation now; the chess game was almost done. And her queen was about to strike. “Unfortunately, we don’t. Such a shame…” She held up a finger to silence Elizaveta before her inevitable squeal. “I suppose one of you will have to work off Feliciano’s debt.” She waited for Luise to refuse to go anywhere, for Feliciano to offer free clothes, for Feliciano’s brother to storm off. Nothing happened. Perfect; the fools had stopped protesting their destinies. It was better when they stopped struggling. “Toni? What do you say to having an extra set of hands for a while?”

Antonio was a little breathless, because Vargas was Not Looking at him, very carefully, and because no one ever came to the manor for anything other than female comfort. And because he was thinking about the best place for an extra set of hands. “I can find him something to do…”

Lotte couldn’t help herself, and broke the silence. “Oh I’m _sure_ you can…”

\- - - - -

Lili couldn’t help a small smile as she passed by the parlor. Feliciano and Luise were in there, ‘reading,’ although everybody knew that meant that Luise was trying not to blush and Feliciano was sitting just a little too close to be proper.

No one in the manor minded about that, though, because anyone with eyes could see that Feliciano thought the world of Luise. Gil hadn’t even needed to bring her guns out _once_ after Feliciano had started coming around regularly.

After Feliciano and Lovino had started coming around regularly.

Because Luise’s time was money, and Feliciano admitted, before their third date, that he was rather useless at anything that didn’t involve cooking or sewing or being in love with Luise. In Lili’s opinion, his brother, Lovino, wasn’t much better. But the debt had still fallen to him.

The sounds of the parlor ( _Feliciano’s flirting chatter and Luise’s indignation_ ) faded away as Lili climbed the stairs to the third floor. Once she neared one of the old storage rooms, she slowed down, and made sure her steps were noiseless; Elizaveta would kill her if they were discovered. Lili joined Elizaveta and the small group of girls around the door of the storage room. It was apparently Lotte’s turn to look through the keyhole, so Lili made sure to save one cookie for her, off the tray of snacks and drinks she had been sent to get from the kitchen.

Lili had to suppress a smile again; it was like they were watching a sporting event! “What’s happening now?”

Lotte whispered back. “Gil told them to clean up the room.” She paused. “Toni’s still stacking boxes in the corner.”

He’d been doing that when she’d left ten minutes before. “So nothing new?” It wasn’t Lili’s turn to peep for four more girls. She had been afraid she would miss something exciting; maybe today would be slow. Maybe she had nothing to worry about.

“He took off his shirt a few minutes ago, but other than that, nothing.” Lili decided not to be disappointed. She could see Toni shirtless any time she wanted; hell, she could see him naked if she opened Lotte’s door slowly in the early afternoons, before he’d had the chance to shower.

Elizaveta took her turn at the door, and the hallway was quiet for a few more minutes. The only reports she and the three girls that went after her had to make were that Toni was moving boxes and that Lovino was lounging on a sheet-covered old couch like the lazy bastard he was. And then it was Lili’s turn. She put her eye to the keyhole, and she waited.

“Lovi,” Antonio was almost done packing up a bookshelf. He was more dusty than sweaty and he had indeed taken off his shirt. “Why aren’t you helping?”

Lovino wasn’t just lounging; he was flat on his back on a couch in one of the corners of the room, just watching Antonio work. “Not my job.”

“Yes it is,” Antonio set down the last box with a thump and meandered over to Lovino, stopping when he was right in front of Lovino’s head. “You’re supposed to help me!”

“I don’t want to.” Lili had no idea what Antonio saw in Lovino, besides maybe his body and the way he smiled, because really, the man was absolutely impossible.

Antonio blinked, and then Antonio smirked and Lili realized she’d had perfect timing, because Antonio was clambering up onto the couch on top of Lovino. And Lovino was doing nothing to stop him. “That means you’re taking option 2 today.”

“And if I am?”

“That means I’m getting lucky.”

The girls were patting her on the shoulder, asking what was happening. Lili waved them away with one of her hands. If she spoke, if anyone spoke, most likely Lovino would hear. And Lovino was as skittish as a wild cat. If he suspected that he had an audience, there was no way he would do what he was doing right now.

_Oh my._

“It means I’m paying off a debt.”

Antonio grinned into Lovi’s neck and put one foot on the floor so he could maneuver the couch to a slightly different angle. Not enough to bother Lovi, who was currently removing his suspenders. Just enough so that the view to the door was obscured by the pile of boxes he had been building up for the past hour. Antonio had been around the girls long enough to know that the smell of freshly baked cookies didn’t waft up to the third floor of the manor on its own. “Gil was just joking, you know. You don’t have to pay back anything if Luise’s having a good time with your brother.”

“I know.”

Lili squeaked when Antonio winked at the door and blocked a view that was swiftly becoming priceless. “E-elizaveta?”

She was quickly by Lili’s side, cheeks rosy red and eyes bright. “Yes?”

“We should probably start running.”

Elizaveta frowned. “Why?” Her frown grew even deeper as a low groan rumbled out from behind the old storeroom door. Why leave when the show was just getting so deliciously good?

“Because Toni knows.”

Fuck.

( _Inside the room, Lovino bit down on Antonio’s shoulder again, twisted his fingers, and wondered when Antonio had become so shy. The watchers had never bothered him before. Not when they had been ‘cleaning the bathroom,’ not when they had been ‘repainting the second parlor,’ not even when they had been ‘fucking in the back garden on Antonio’s dinner break.’_

 _No matter; in a few minutes, Lovino was sure, Antonio wouldn’t be capable of thinking of anything at all._ )

**Author's Note:**

> I like offhanded confessions and outings; I think they’ve got more punch that way. Anyway, this and its sister story ( _that’ll come later_ ) were brought on by watching CH too many times ( _I admit; I like the music_ ), and by another story I’m working on. Long story short, the sister story also has a random CH German title and song snippet that has nothing to do with the story except to set the tone. It’s set in the same sort of time period place thing, and also has Spain as the live-in bouncer of a bordello. And genderbending. And Romano/Spain. Most other things are different, though, because this time around it’s _Lovina_.
> 
> Back to this story, I used no google-fu for this. If there are any outstanding anachronisms or other errors, you know the drill!
> 
> *  
> Veronica, the Spring is here,  
> The girls are singing tralala,  
> The whole wide world is so bewitched,  
> Veronica, the ‘sparagus lifts,  
> Oh you Veronica, the world is green,  
> So let’s off to the woods [and bang]**…  
> \-- “Veronica, the Spring is here”
> 
> A transliteration. If you are actually fluent in German, please correct me, for I am not.
> 
> **From what I understand, the song is about bangin’. Just to clear up any ‘asparagus…?’ questions. And the extra words make the syllables line up better


End file.
